Overcoming addictions: a roadmap to improving your health.

Pieter J. De Wet, M.D., FAAFP, AHMA
Quantum Healing Institute
212 Grande Blvd., Ste. C-114, Tyler, TX 75703

Have you ever considered how much easier it would be to improve our health if only we could conquer our addictions and overcome those obsessive self defeating behaviors that take such a negative toll on us? How many times do we start with the best intentions to reform our eating habits, to start exercising, to stop procrastinating, to stop smoking, stop drinking just to find ourselves a few days or weeks later back to square one? Not only do we get so frustrated by failure, but each failure seems to add to the emotional scars that we carry. For so many this eventually leads to apathy and resignation to failure. Often we even justify our failures by blaming our genes or by blaming the lack of support from friends or family or society as a whole or we even end up blaming God. Most end up feeling that they lack the will power that it takes to be successful.

A great example of this negative paradigm is the problem that more and more people in our society seem to be having with uncontrolled weight gain. With over 65% of adults in our society now struggling with being overweight, it seems surprising to see the tremendous lack of success in dealing with this ever increasing problem. It is estimated that as many as 95% of people that go on weight loss programs and who initially succeed, have regained all of that weight that they lost over a period of two years and as many as 98% fail to keep it off over 5 years. It is also striking to see how high the failure rates are for those that try to quit smoking or those that try to stop other addictions. So the question is, is this due to the fact that most people lack the willpower to change or is it something else. Are most of us a will power gene short or is there something else at work sabotaging our efforts to do what we all know is right.

The reason for this impasse seems to have a lot to do with the pain vs. pleasure principles. In other words we all have a tendency to want to avoid pain and to gain pleasure whenever we have a choice. Very often the pain involved in going through change is greater than the pleasure gained through changing our self defeating habits, especially initially. Most of us simply tire of the sense of severe discomfort involved in change, for example the pain and deprivation that most feel when they go on a diet or when they stop smoking. We also create massive additional pain every time we "fail" because of the guilt and frustration that we take on. This leads to a steady downward spiral of our self esteem, self confidence and self respect which perpetuates the endless cycle of self destructive behaviors.

So how do we transcend our addictions?
1) Change our thoughts: In order to overcome addictions, we have to start by changing our thoughts and what we focus on. One of the laws of the universe is that we always get more of what we focus on either positively or negatively. If we are constantly focused on what we don't have or on what we are not, we will always get more of the same. When we evaluate our current reality, it is essential to evaluate our corresponding thoughts that support that reality. If reality is not to our liking, we have to make a massive change in our thought patterns by focusing on our deepest hearts desires and know that positive thought leads to positive action which in turn changes our reality from negative to positive.
2) Know what you want: Most people know very well what they don't want but lack a clear and coherent vision on what they do want, or their focus on what they do want is so narrow that repeated failure to achieve that narrow goal creates negative expectation. For example if all you are focused on is losing weight and you have failed to lose weight on numerous occasions, we start developing an unconscious negative expectation of failure whenever we try to lose weight again in future. On the other hand, when we broaden our goals and reduce our focus on one particular aspect, our likelihood of success dramatically increases. For example when you change your focus from "dieting" to "healthy eating" and your goal from "losing weight" to "improving your health and well being", it becomes easier to achieve success. This applies to all addictions as well.
3) Understand the reasons behind your addictions: Most people are unsuccessful in their efforts to overcome addictions because they fail to understand the underlying forces that pushed them into addiction in the first place. For example, most of us develop addictions because of our desire to find relief from anxiety, boredom, depression, stress, lack of happiness or lack of energy. When we find temporary relief from these negative conditions through indulging of certain habits, we will tend to go back to these habits over and over until it becomes an addiction. It also is necessary to understand that in order to overcome addictions we have to find replacement activities that achieve the same result without causing harm to our bodies, minds or emotions.
4) Learn to fulfill basic human needs through healthier pursuits: For example, if you smoke in order to control stress or anxiety, it is essential to find healthier, enjoyable yet simple replacement activities such as a hobby, meditation, enjoyable physical activities, etc.
5) Let go of judgment: We can only overcome addictions by learning to love and accept ourselves totally and completely "as is" with all our perceived faults and weaknesses. This is an essential starting point if we ever hope to be victorious over our addictions. Guilt is not conducive in any way to success and has to be healed in order to shift focus onto what we truly want. Guilt only perpetuates the cycle of misery by keeping our focus on what we don't want or don't want to be.
6) Be present in your life. Presence means "being in the moment". Most of us spend most of our lives in either one or more of four places instead of the "here and now" We are either reliving and rehashing the past, projecting ourselves into the future, stuck in the stories about ourselves or stuck in the stories about others. Here is where we find all kinds of justifications for failure. All the power that we have to change is in this moment now. The more "present" we are, the more conscious and aware we are and the more we get to experience our lives instead of being trapped in perpetual negative thought cycles that make overcoming addictions impossible.
7) Be gentle with yourself and others. Most of us are very hard on ourselves for our perceived weaknesses and misdeeds and also hard on others when we feel unloved, uncared for or violated in any way. This "toughness" on ourselves and others leads to rigidity and sinicism. It makes a huge difference when we start reframing "mistakes" and "misdeeds" as learning and growing. For example when you have the goal to lose weight, and you pig out on a few doughnuts, instead of feeling mad and frustrated, look at the emotional need that you were fulfilling at the time of your indiscretion, forgive yourself and smile as you have just learned another wonderful lesson that will help you towards achieving your goal of conquering your addiction. Also essential is to learn to laugh at ourselves. Taking life too seriously means we are operating from the ego instead of from the soul.
8) Develop a plan for success: In order to achieve success in overcoming addictions, it is critical to develop a very basic, simple and yet structured plan. For instance, when you want to conquer food addictions, decide which "healthy" foods you might enjoy, how often you want to eat, figure out a shopping plan in order to ensure that you have available what you are going to need, etc. Also make your plan conform to your goals, your physiology, your temperament and your circumstances.
9) Join with others: It is much easier to succeed when you join forces with others than when you go solo. That is one of the reasons why organizations like weight watchers, alcoholics anonymous, and other twelve step programs are so much more successful in helping people overcome addictions than those going it alone. Working in conjunction with others helps to increase motivation, focus and consistency of effort and makes transformation easier. That is also why it is so important to surround ourselves with those that share and support our goals even at home and in our friendship circles.
10) Be soulful in your approach to healing: When vanity, self embarrassment, and guilt is driving the train of change, the train usually goes no where, but when spirit and the divine is in the drivers seat, that is when we become unstoppable and certain to achieve success. A soulful approach to life leads to us remaining completely vulnerable and open to life. This is essential in order to grow and to heal. Prayer, meditation, positive affirmations, are all tools that are extremely helpful in helping us to overcome our addictive behaviors and ultimately to help us heal.